indierawk:

Nation’s Music Snobs Protest Predictable Use Of Metallica, Pantera To Torture Prisoners

WASHINGTON—Amid continued reports detailing the CIA’s use of loud music to torture detainees at Guantánamo Bay, pop-culture elitists from across the country gathered in the nation’s capital Monday to protest the uninspired song selections employed in the brutal treatment of inmates.

“To remain silent about the abhorrent methods used to interrogate alleged enemy combatants would be a betrayal of the ideals we hold most dear,” said New Yorker music critic Sasha Frere-Jones, a spokesperson for the loose coalition of music snobs. “I mean, ‘Enter Sandman,’ from Metallica’s 1991 self-titled album? Really? Not to say there isn’t some classic stuff on the torture playlist, but even my 12-year-old nephew would choose something a little more unexpected than Nine Inch Nails to shatter an utterly demoralized man’s already tenuous grip on reality.”

(read more via The Onion)